Life According to Me

Why do kids always want a dog? My kids have been asking since...well, since the history of ever. The answer is ALWAYS a solid (hellls)NO. I know what happens if we get a dog. Know how I know? Because we have a fish(he is fish #5, btw), a cat and a hamster. We've had butterflies(twice!) an ant farm, praying mantises and silk moths. That last grouping counts as pets because guess who feeds them and worries about them and loves them? Yours truly. So,they are all technically MY pets, and I DO NOT want to add a dog to the menagerie. My dear sweet friend, who shall remain nameless to protect her awesomness, had a little puppy follow her home as she was walking her dog. This little doggie follower was all puppy and sweet and...puppy. She called me, and it went like this: "Friend(?!?!) this sweet little puppy followed me home and I HAVE to find him a home and I think that's why God put him in my path because I could find him a home and no one will claim him and I need to fin...

I am forever having to remind my boys to shave(Kid One-17) and brush teeth(Kid Two-9). Kid Two will find any reason not to brush. -I just drank orange juice -I'm going to eat again in a little while -Why can't I just chew gum -I brushed my teeth yesterday... Oy. It was nearing bedtime a few evenings ago. Kid Two cuddled up to me on the couch. He smelled so minty fresh! "You brushed your teeth without me nagging you?! Good job!" I hugged him.  Kid Two looked at me in some kind of shock I think, as if he had just discovered The Secret to The History of Ever (Ooooooo...) "Candy Canes work!?  I didn't brush my teeth, but   you  thought I DID (??!) All I did was eat a candy cane...and it WORKED!" Ummm, news flash little homeslice...That only works if you're Kes$ha and you're gonna rinse with a bottle of Jack after your candy cane "toothbrushing". "Not even the 10th dentist would agree with you on this one and he cou...