Life According to Me

This little five year old person I live with has the world all figured out. Here are some facts, according to him: 1. Sponge Bob Square Pants is real. How does he know this? Because he is on TV. 2. When you don't have any "dollars", just go to that "machine" and it will give you some. 3. The guy in the camera department at Target will also give you "dollars". 4. His baseball trophy is gold. Real gold . 5. Hamburger comes from a ham. (FYI...a ham is not a pig. That is an entirely different animal.) 6. Candy makes you big and strong. *will update as new facts come to light

While we were at recess at school Noah walked up to me with an announcement. Here's how the conversation went: Noah(all serious, and stuff): I speak duck. Me: Wow. You do? Noah: Yeah. You wanna hear me? Me: Okay. Noah(mouth twisted to the side): "Wack. Wack". (pause) You try. Me: Okay. "Wack Wack". Noah: See. You speak duck, too. All these years and I had no idea...