Life According to Me

You can always tell the gym rat who's music is far too loud in his ears. He's the one grunting like a wounded animal and loud whisper counting his reps. I only noticed this because I had forgot my own headphones. So I settled for some 80's pop the gym generously pumps into the atmosphere. Taaaaaake ooooooon meeeeeee. take on me.... As I'm eliptical-ing my way to nowhere, I can hear the guy beside me, apparently peddling his way up Mount Kilimanjaro. I know this because not only is he standing up on the bike, he's grunt-yelling his little heart out to the theme from Rocky. I know THIS because his music is so loud in his ears,   I can hear it. This got me thinking. I listen to my music pretty loud. My pony-tail's a-swingin'. I listen to the theme from Rocky.  Gulp.....

Dear Baristas, Is it really necessary to make me feel like a complete imbecile for ordering my coffee incorrectly? I know there's a special way to do it, but when it's my turn, I have a complete brain fart. I know when I say "iced" at the end, after you've written everything on a hot cup, you get your little barista chonies in a wad. Or when I say "whipped cream" instead of "whipped" you're calculating the time I've wasted by using that whole word. I really appreciate you, I hope you know. How would I get through my day without your skilled artistry of delicious coffee concocting?! All I ask is for your eyes to stay put when I say "non-fat" instead of "skinny". When you roll them so dramatically, it makes me want to pull your lip ring out with a fish hook. So, in order to have a more civil relationship, I will practice my ordering technique if you will keep your heavy sighs of disdain to your self....deal? Ad...

Laying in the tent at 2 am in the middle of BFE...I begin to slowly loose my mind  think.... An owl REALLY does say "Who". Your appreciation for running water increases 10 fold when you have access to none. Meat bees sting. Sometimes they tell 5 of their friends, who follow suit. Fellow campers who snore should have their morning coffee privileges revoked! It's 3 am....chanting, silently, "a bear won't eat me, a bear won't eat me, a bear won't eat me", only makes you CONVINCED you just heard one. I like beach camping. I'm pretty certain I won't be eaten by a sea turtle. When squatting to make a nature call, be aware of your surroundings. You know....no poison oak, no killer ant hills, no sticks poking straight up out of the ground.  "Bears" shit in the woods.  By the end of day two, you become accustomed to your new "scent". Also, by the end of day two, you qualify as a "Glamou...

Random things Noah articulates, sometimes with infinite meaning. Be Brave. I don't like Mc Donald's. (stated during a long car ride in the midst of silence) You're the queen of nothing . Banzai means, YOU BETTER RUUUUUUN! What are olives? I wash my hair every other day....it's a pattern . *duh.* EARMUFFS! EYEMUFFS! When do I get a cell phone. (A statement) Mooooom?! Just check iiiiiiiing. (In response to me saying, Noah?! Just checking.) Where are the tongs? You might want to plug your nose. Actually ...it was awesome.

Maybe I should rename this blog "Stuff Noah Does/Says That Makes Me Laugh"..... I woke him at 9:45(!!!) this morning. The first thing he said was..."That was fast". Huh? Followed by, "I didn't even close my eyes, yet". Oye...the sleeping habits of this house need a major kick in the pants.

After a week and a half of pneumonia....my little jedi is feeling much better!  Good enough to have an impromptu water war in the yard with his bro.  Dollar store water blasters....the best 2 bucks ever spent!  Thanks Grammy!   

Has he met me, my husband??   Unfortunately for him I have a strong passive aggressive streak. And here. we. go.....Three car driveway=plenty-o-space to park two large cars.  Mark  chooses to park right in the middle.... always.   This leaves me a small space on either side. grrrrr.  I wonder..." does he think he's the ONLY one who lives heeere?!"                        *WELCOME PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE JENN* I arrive home first and park my car completely parallel to our house,  in the middle of the driveway.  He comes in and asks, "Did you park like that on purpose?"   hee hee  " Of course I did .  Y ou park in the middle, so I parked in the middle."  Fast forward to the next day. He arrives home first and parks across the bottom of the driveway, blocking it.   Again....has he not met me?!?   I proceed to drive around his truck over the grass and park right beside him in the middle of the driveway.   WINNAH WINNAH CHICKEN DINNAH .  Out of the house he c...