Reality And Her Sense Of Humor

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Very cute. Very deceptive.


A very cute, very deceptive shower invite coupled with my own glorious experience has prompted this post. The images we see of pregnant women are NOT what you're really going look like when you are pregnant. Unless, of course you're a supermodel, or your metabolism is friends with Speedy Gonzales.  And after a 10 month  vacation from diet land, chances are, your're not going to slip back into your skinny jeans when you leave the hospital. Banish that little fantasy now. Save yourself the terrifying agony of trying to squash your butt into anything other than your designer maternity denim. Remember....as your belly grows, so does your booty. It's got to. If it didn't, you'd fall flat on your face.....I'm convinced.


You may have had the grand pleasure of knowing someone who falls in the supermodel category. My condolences. I've known her, too.  The one who wears her skinny jeans home, shot out her little cherub in record time, without drugs and is ready for visitors and a mall outing, ASAP. She is the exception. I've consoled myself with this idea during two pregnancies. You may also find it helpful.


So, while those girls in the baby magazines look like Kate Moss swallowed Humpty Dumpty, reality has a greater sense of humor. That darling image above is Barbie with a cotton ball taped to her tummy.
THIS is reality....Humpty Dumpty ate a small family for lunch.

Freaking reality. Damn.

Comments

Unknown said…
I love your blog Jenn!!
2/09/2010
Kekepania said…
Yeah Jenn...I never got to see your belly! So cute! Yes, I saw one of those girls at the pediatric clinic 2 days after having Bennie, completely hormonal and being told we had to check back in for jaundice, bawling. She was two weeks postpartum and in the skinniest freakin jeans and looking fabulous! I seriously hated her ;)
2/10/2010
Kekepania said…
ps AND WHO CAN FIT THEIR SWOLLEN FEET IN A PAIR OF POINTED TOE STILLETTOS WITH A BELLY THAT BIG!The designers of that card should be shot!
2/10/2010
Lorraine Clements said…
You are still the most beautiful pregnant woman EVER!!!
2/11/2010
Unknown said…
I loved it when you were prego!! Beautiful as always my love...Weird cravings though...

Newspaper~ Yes, you liked the scent of newspaper??

Dirt~ This is why you like Mike Rowe??

Pickle Juice~ I don't know... this is why you like Jersey Shore??
I'll leave it at that. I have a very strong gag reflex;-)
2/13/2010
Jenn said…
My belly was not cute or pretty or any word so sweet. It was epic, a bohemiuth, mostly full of maple bars and a very tiny child. Ugh. ;-)
I did have weird cravings?! Yes, Mark....you and that gag reflex! I secretly love it, cuz I can gross you out so easily.
Hmmmm...I smell a blog post!!
2/13/2010
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