Vows, Revisited

I'd like a do over on my wedding vows.
The traditional stuff is good, but it's a little vague.  Love, honor, sickness, health, good times, bad, joy, sorrow.
It's a parade of opposites.

My do over would include some more specific promises.
I'd like to be explicitly certain, no matter how angry my betrothed is with me, he will never ever clean the toilet with my tooth brush.
We'd vow to not take each others cold spots in bed.
He would promise to  never point out that all my black shoes look the same.  I, in turn, will vow never to complain when he drives like an idiot.
I'd promise never to sigh heavily when he changes the channel every 8 seconds, so we are literally watching everything at once. 

We'd vow to always pick each other first in a game of dodgeball, and offer each other a bite of our dessert. We would promise to argue a fair amount, because making up is always great.
In times of top ramen or filet mignon, we will always use cloth napkins. We'd vow to split the difference on the thermostat, he'd always lift the seat and the last one changes the roll.

It's this stuff.  The guts of the union I'd like to revisit.
Do I?
I do....;-)