First Time

-

I saw a young, first time mom at the grocery store. I knew she was a first time mom, because she had one of those shopping cart protector things and giant bottle of hand sanitizer clipped to her bag. 
Her daughter had a sun hat, sunglasses, and an invisible force field to protect her from a strangers stray sneeze or cough.
First time mommy right of passage.
It made me think back to when my own kids were brand new, and our initial baby steps back into everyday life... 


My first outing with Kid One was to his first doctor visit. I got myself ridiculously over dressed and packed the diaper bag like we were going on safari. I felt victorious as I stepped out into the sunlight.
Then he spit up an entire bottle of milk right down the front and back of me. 
I stepped back inside.
Sat on the couch.
And ugly cried.


My first outing with Kid Two was 5 days after he was born. 
I still looked pregnant.
Nothing fit, and I was puffy...like I had eaten a entire salt lick for breakfast.   


A woman approached me, and before she could speak, I knew what was coming. 


"When are you due?" asked, Little Miss "About To Feel Really Bad"


I already did.
But thanks for making me feel like a super model. 



































Comments

patricia said…
Hahahahahahaha! That was crazy funny! And that is why you are my friend!
4/09/2010
Rebecca Storch said…
Funny and sooo true - my fist outing with Natalie was day 5 : baby appointment 1. Aside from looking like crap, I felt it too when Natalies new pediatrician asked if me or my HUSBAND (My OLD dad with gray hair and a old man clothes on who insisted on going with me) would like to get OUR baby dressed.
4/10/2010
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Hit Snooze, Again

-
Do people hibernate? I'm convinced we do. Or I've just decided this is the reason for my wanting to stay under the covers and become a professional snoozer. The fact that I haven't seen the sun in 8 days and it hasn't been balmier than 45ยบ has driven my inner bear-ness. I live in a cloud. Really. This town is officially a cloud. And not a pretty, billowy cumulonimbus cloud. More like a big, heavy, grey, damp blanket of a cloud. Blah. Wake me when it's spring....
Read more

Getting Ma'am ed

-
At the grocery store, the local coffee spot, by the Principal(who is clearly older than myself)...that one little ridiculously spelled word- ma'am . I know it's supposed to have an aura of respect, but it reeks of...well...chronological order! I can feel it coming, too. "GRANDE SKINNY VANILLA LATTE!!" shouted by some pierced barista. I look around, puzzled because I am the only one waiting.  "Guess that's me...thanks."  wait for it...wait for it ... "Have a nice day, ma'am"  And there it is. Thanks. Getting old sucks.
Read more

Honolulu?

-
I'm at the gym with my husband. It's nice to have a sidekick. He's running on the treadmill beside me. I glance over at him and notice two things;  One- He's far too close to the back of the machine. If he flies off and eats floor, I will probably pretend I don't know him. Two- He's holding his hands in a strange way. Like he's giving the hang loose sign....thumbs up, pinky's down...pumping away. In that moment it occurs to me... .th at looks weir d . He's got his headphones in and I can't get his attention to poke fun. Later that night he asks, did I look alright on the treadmill today. Awwww. Bless his sweet, hot little heart.  "Yeah. You looked good " I say, all full of kissy face innuendo. "But what's the deal with your hands?" I can actually see him running back the moment in his mind.  "Oh. My. GOD ." Says he, now visually disturbed at his recollection. "Yeah. I was thinking, what's up with tha...
Read more