Hand Bikini
Another shared story.
This one has two degrees of separation.
When "you" read this, I hope you laugh. It is, hands down, my favorite story from Mommiedom, to date!
First time mom is getting ready to have a quick hop in the shower. We moms know what a feat it can be to even schudule one in.
Her Kid One is one.
Mom is ready to step into a few minutes of bliss, when she remembers she needs to start the dryer in the garage.
Mom, in all her nakedness, makes a mad dash to her forgotten chore.
First she checks Kid One. All is well
She Runs into the garage. Starts dryer.
Runs back in house.....
What??!
The door is locked.
She has locked herself out.
Mom tiptoes timidly into the back yard, covering her lady bits the best she can with her hand bikini.
She chants in a whisper...Please please please let the back door be unlocked.
She taps on the glass and tries to explain in mime how to open the door to her Kid One.
Ugh. No luck
Lightbulb!
A while back, her husband put a hide-a-key in the garage!
She reaches into the place the key should be.
Empty space.
Craptastic.
The shower is running.
Kid One is probably Jackson Pollock-ing the walls.
And she is naked in the garage.
Think!
In the wash, are towels waiting for their turn on the laundry express.
She yanks one out.
Wraps herself in it.
And bravely walks to her neighbors house.
Her neighbors..... who are college kids.
Perfect.
She Cliff Notes explains what has brought her to ring their bell wrapped in a sullied towel, and asks to use the phone.
She dials her husband.
"I've locked myself out. The hide-a-key wasn't there?!"
She smiles through clenched teeth.
Husband, in all his glorious husbandry replied,"I moved it in case of robbers."
She heaves a giant exhale...
"Well...you may have wanted to share that with ME. I don't plan on robbing us anytime soon."
She thanked the neighborly college kids, and struted proudly back home to shower.
The End.;-)
("You" are my new personal hero.
xoxoxo)
This one has two degrees of separation.
When "you" read this, I hope you laugh. It is, hands down, my favorite story from Mommiedom, to date!
First time mom is getting ready to have a quick hop in the shower. We moms know what a feat it can be to even schudule one in.
Her Kid One is one.
Mom is ready to step into a few minutes of bliss, when she remembers she needs to start the dryer in the garage.
Mom, in all her nakedness, makes a mad dash to her forgotten chore.
First she checks Kid One. All is well
She Runs into the garage. Starts dryer.
Runs back in house.....
What??!
The door is locked.
She has locked herself out.
Mom tiptoes timidly into the back yard, covering her lady bits the best she can with her hand bikini.
She chants in a whisper...Please please please let the back door be unlocked.
She taps on the glass and tries to explain in mime how to open the door to her Kid One.
Ugh. No luck
Lightbulb!
A while back, her husband put a hide-a-key in the garage!
She reaches into the place the key should be.
Empty space.
Craptastic.
The shower is running.
Kid One is probably Jackson Pollock-ing the walls.
And she is naked in the garage.
Think!
In the wash, are towels waiting for their turn on the laundry express.
She yanks one out.
Wraps herself in it.
And bravely walks to her neighbors house.
Her neighbors..... who are college kids.
Perfect.
She Cliff Notes explains what has brought her to ring their bell wrapped in a sullied towel, and asks to use the phone.
She dials her husband.
"I've locked myself out. The hide-a-key wasn't there?!"
She smiles through clenched teeth.
Husband, in all his glorious husbandry replied,"I moved it in case of robbers."
She heaves a giant exhale...
"Well...you may have wanted to share that with ME. I don't plan on robbing us anytime soon."
She thanked the neighborly college kids, and struted proudly back home to shower.
The End.;-)
("You" are my new personal hero.
xoxoxo)
Comments
I seriously wish I could claim it as mine. It's so crazy hysterical!;-)
I'm sure at the time, not so much!
I'm glad you got a good giggle.
I loved it!
xoxoxoxo