I'm Late, Therefore I Am

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Why is it, when I have plenty of time, that is when I'm late?

If I sleep through my alarm, I'm a Jedi.
I can throw myself together.
Dump just the right amount of coffee into my system.
Gather up kids, lunches, backpacks, cell phones, iPods, headphones.
Unplug the iron, flat iron, hairdryer.
Grab a Monster.
Set the alarm.
And not forget a single thing.

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