Life According to Me

We took the kids to a super cute local pumpkin patch. The fox corn maze was confusing(we are smart people. WTF happenend?!) and fun(more fun if they had served cocktails). Kid One and Kid Two are totally into anything military. While in the maze, Mark and I got "no scoped" and "noobed" by our children. Good clean fun is what we are into.   Thirty-six dollars  later we loaded our big beautiful pumpkins(3 of them...you do the math) into the car, and hit the road home. A nice little outing in our nice little town. Word.

I seriously had hair like this. No lie. Yearbookyourself.com. Super silly fun!

Last year at the pumpkin patch, Kid Two chose a spaghetti squash. He was very excited to cook and eat it. Well, the darn thing rotted before we could have our way with it. Kid Two, a.k.a "boy who forgets nothing" , has reminded me... incessantly, in the past year that we didn't get to eat our squash. Fast forward to today.... He spots the elusive squash amongst a pile of gourds at the grocery store. "Pleeeeeeease can we get one?" "Of course", I say. As we walk away, a brownish, lumpy squash catches his eye. "That's a meatball squash. I don't think I will like that one."  Yeah. That's probably some kind of food law anyway...

I've never had to use the PA system to find my "party".... until now. Why do they call it a party anyhow? Why not "group" or "friends" or " Mother who has lost her last iota of pateince waiting for you to get your little tushie over here RIGHT NOW" !  At 13, following your mother around Target gathering trivial things like paper plates and dental floss or social life killers like tampons and lip gloss is no picnic. He likes to break away. Fine. Usually he has his cell, so when I'm done I can let him know. You see where this is going? I have checked out, and I'm waiting. waiting. waiting. grrrrrrr. I know he's playing that video game and will continue to do so unless.....hmmm. Unless I have him paged from the heavens of Target. I have great confidence that he will be embarrassed just enough to please me. "ATTENTION TARGET SHOPPERS. WILL KID ONE PLEASE REPORT TO THE FRONT OF THE STORE, YOUR PARTY IS WAITING, KID ONE PL