J-Popp

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I don't watch television, much. Not because I'm some esoteric lofty thinking nut job. Rather, I'm impatient. If I want to feel enlightened, I'll read. If I'm going to sit for any period of time, idle, I want to feast my eyes upon something craptastic. Due to my hibernation, I've discovered guilty train wreck pleasure, du jour....Jersey Shore. Here's what I've deciphered so far....
I've learned all about Guidos and Guidettes and how to be one.
I now know the importance of GTL(gym, tan, laundry) and the reason for that order.
I don't ever want to be a "stage 5 clinger" or have a "stage 5 clinger".
It''s all about being the sweetest bitch ever....but making sure no one friggin' effs with me.
I realize the importance of a guido/guidette name and have dubbed myself "J-Popp".
I know whenever I go down to "creep" or "commit robberies" on the boardwalk, I should don my very best, Ed Hardy douche wear, and fist pump like a champ.
I know the difference between a grenade launcher,  a grenade and a cutie. Only one of those is a good thing.
I also realize, the little girl dream of a "fairy tale life with the white  picket fence" is ova'. It's been replaced by, "move to Jersey, find a nice juiced hot tanned guido and live your life".
Pickles should be my new thing.
All I need is a poof and a guido with a blow out.

The crappy goodness of this show's like totally friggin' delicious. The End.

Comments

Kekepania said…
Oh My! Is it on DVD! No fair!!!!!!!!!Ever watch "Rock of Love" or "Flavor of Love"...This sounds far crappier and addicting!
1/19/2010
Jenn said…
mtv.com. You can watch full episodes. And yes, it's far crappier (I mean this in a good way) than Rock and Flavor of love!
;-)
1/19/2010
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